When Yunho arrives home that afternoon, the house remains in the very same condition.  Messy.  Jaejoong hadn’t come home.  This is the first time Yunho comes home to an empty house.  There is a clenching feeling in his stomach, but there is also the unfamiliar taste of freedom.

The bed feels strangely empty and Yunho can hardly sleep.  No matter how angry he is at the other, he’s still worried of his well-being.  He falls asleep at 2:30 am that night.


Jaejoong’s best buddy, Yoochun comes to the apartment 2 days later.  It is Sunday so Yunho spends that day cleaning the mess Jaejoong left.  He was vacuuming the floor when Yoochun rings the bell.

He is there to get Jaejoong’s stuff.  

“Sorry for bothering, hyung.  But Jae really can’t live without his skincare products and his V-necks.  If I don’t come here today, he’d had my neck in the chopping block for sure,” Yoochun had said when he was putting Jaejoong’s stuff in a huge suitcase.

Somehow all that makes the break-up seems realer.

But Yunho didn’t linger long on it.  He has a life to live after all. 
That very night is the first night in a while, that Yunho gets to taste the pleasure of freedom.  He goes to the most exclusive club in Seoul, wearing clothes that he knows would turn heads towards him.

He no longer has to worry of someone getting upset everytime people tries to chat him up, and that feels strangely refreshing.  Yes he loves Jaejoong, but really, if this is how independence taste like, he can live without Jaejoong for sure.

He drinks to his heart’s content that night.

“Cheers to freedom,” he announces as he clinks his glass with a couple of strangers he barely knows.
Junsu calls and ask to meet him.  It’s been nearly 3 months after his break-up with Jaejoong, and since Junsu (and Yoochun) is a familiar friend of theirs, one of the few Jaejoong would never misunderstand him with, Yunho didn’t know what to expect.

He half-hopes Jaejoong will be there.  They frequently go out for a drink as a group after all, back in the days.  Junsu with Yoochun, and him with Jaejoong.  But the other half of him is worried.  What if Jaejoong is still angry.

No matter how dysfunctional he is, he’s still one of the most important person in Yunho’s life.  And if they can’t stay together as lover, Yunho hope they can still remain as friends.  He cannot sleep that night (actually he has difficulties sleeping the first few nights after the break-up, but lately, his insomnia seems to have been alleviated, at least until Junsu called).

Yunho stays up that night, despite how his brain tells him not to.  He keeps unintentionally drafting his speech in case if Jaejoong shows up tomorrow.


He turns to his side and glances at the clock.

‘2:30 am.’

Ugh, it’s gonna be a long night.


There’s no Jaejoong there.  Neither him nor Yoochun.  Junsu had tried to plaster an eager smile once he arrived at the café but Yunho can tell it was fake.

“Since Jae hyung has Chun, I’m going to offer myself to you as your outlet.  At least you won’t have to keep everything to yourself,” Junsu claimed after Yunho had asked him.

And Junsu also told him a brand new information about Jaejoong that he hadn’t known.  That explains why he never sees Jaejoong around anymore, even at the restaurant he works. 

Jaejoong isn’t in Korea, he’s on a vacation in Venice, together with Yoochun, in a trip Yunho presumed to be sponsored by the latter.  Yoochun works as a song writer, so his company allows him to go on vacay anytime he wants for muse.


“What about his work?” Yunho had asked while frowning.

“I guess he quitted,” Junsu shrugged.

Yunho thinks he missed Jaejoong.  It’s 5 months after their break up, and Yunho is in his office, signing a paper when a colleague comes in with yet another document.  It is the one who fell on top of him aka the catalyst of his break up. 

Yunho fights to keep his laughter in check, as the lady frowns at him while placing the document on his table.  Jaejoong had been right, she is ugly.

Junsu calls him 2 days later for another boys night out.  But this time he slips in a warning. 

“He’s back.”

Yunho doesn’t know why, but that short sentence gives great impact to him.  And that night, just like the first few nights after their break-up, Yunho cannot bring himself to sleep.

It’s the caffeine, he tries to convince himself.  And when he turns to his side to glance at the clock, he sighs.

‘2:30 a.m’

It’s going to be a long night.


When he goes to the café the next day, what he expected is a frowning Jaejoong who wouldn’t as much spare a glance at him.  Oh boy, was he wrong.

Jaejoong is glowing as he waves at him from where he sat.  Yunho looks at him meekly and make his way to the table.  Usually, Junsu and Yoochun would be too busy coddling to care about them, but since this is a rather volatile situation, Yunho finds both pair of eyes trained tensely between him and Jaejoong.

Jaejoong doesn’t seem to care though, ordering his food from the waitress leisurely.  Yunho merely watches him awkwardly and when it is his turn to place the order, he gulps when the waitress comes a little too close to him, brushing her hips on his resting elbow.

His fearful eyes automatically turn towards Jaejoong, so does Junsu’s, Yunho noticed.  But neither Jaejoong nor Yoochun paid any of them any attention, too busy talking about that one incident that happened to them in a café in Venice.

Yunho draws a breath of relief while Junsu still looks constipated.  Yunho immediately finish his order before Jaejoong notices anything off.  Yes, they’ve broken up, but no one but Yoochun truly understand Jaejoong.  Not even he himself.

They spent that evening talking about nothings.  And Yunho is just relieved that Jaejoong is as compliant and friendly as ever.  They never talk about the break up.  The only foul thing he heard that night was when Yoochun voices out.

“Oh, hyung.  Guess who we met in Venice?” Yoochun had wiggled his brows while Jaejoong giggled (sweetly, Yunho noted).

“Hmm, who?”

“Your cousin, Jung Chang Min!”



Yunho decides that feelings are a really complex thing.  He’s the one who’s doing the dumping yet why is he so upset seeing Jaejoong doing just fine without him.  He remains silent as Jaejoong animatedly chats with Junsu and Yoochun amidst the buzzing sound of the café.  This is their 7^th meeting after the break-up (yes, Yunho counted), and he looks normal.  If not even better than how he was with Yunho.  His porcelain skin is positively glowing.

Somehow, despite the odds, things has gone back to normal with Jaejoong.  They’re no longer together, but Jaejoong has been completely civil with him, just like how he was when they were still together just this time, minus the envious stare to those who stand 3 metres radius from him.


He ignores whatever it is Jaejoong is talking about, - something about Pierre something saving something in Venice- as he gulps his coffee bitterly.

“Damn,” he curses, drawing attention to himself, “-the coffee is bitter.”

He got ignored as Jaejoong went back to story-telling.



At this point, Yunho is sure that Jaejoong doesn’t care about him anymore.  At first, when the waitress stood a little too close to him after Jaejoong went back from Venice, he had thought Jaejoong simply missed that act, but right now he’s positively sure the other doesn’t care.

“Good for me,” Yunho mumbles quietly as his hand snakes around a stranger’s waist, the corner of his eyes catching the sight of Jaejoong chatting with the bartender. 

“Hyung, you’re attention whoring,” Yoochun mumbles as he sat next to him, tired from all of the dancing.  They’re currently in a club, Yunho’s idea.  He said he wants them to have some fun, but the truth is he just wants to gauge Jaejoong’s reaction to his interaction with other people. 

He bit his lower lips as he subtly glanced at Jaejoong’s direction again, tightening his hold on the strange girl’s waist while tipping his glass at Jaejoong when the beauty face his way.  Jaejoong tip his glass back and goes back to the bartender.

“Bloody bartender,” he curses.

“Hyung, you’re attention whoring,” Yoochun repeats that, and this time Yunho doesn’t miss it.

“That, I do, dear dongsaeng,” he admits coolly and the girl next to him giggles, probably high from something.


“Look, hyung, I don’t want to see you making a fool out of yourself.  There’s something you need to know,” Yoochun announces, he sounds so serious Yunho just has to look at him.

“Jae hyung, he-  He sort of found someone.  In Venice.  I don’t know if they’re serious, or if they’re really together but… you know.” Yoochun says carefully, treading on thin ice. 

Oh.  Yunho’s expression falls.




Yunho learns that the bastard’s name is Pierre.  Yunho has learned to hate him just as much as he hates Jung Chang Min that bastard.  Who by the way is sitting smugly in front of him, a smirk on his face.

Junsu had wanted to meet him, hearing so many things about him from Yoochun and Jaejoong.  They learned that Chang Min was in Venice for a vacation after scoring a big deal in the real estate firm he works at.   And while being there, he had met and fell in love with Jaejoong’s cooking (Yoochun says, they accidentally met when Jaejoong cursed about a certain Jung Yunho loudly that it attracted the attention of a certain Jung Chang Min.  Yunho had sighed hearing that.  He unknowingly brought them together).

Yunho and Changmin continues their staring fest as the other three gushes about how much of a gentleman Pierre that -bleep- is.

“Well, let’s just hope Pierre don’t pick his nose in bed.  Oh wait, since he’s courting Jaejoong and not Yunho, I guess he’ll be alright,” Chang Min sarcastically says at the end of their time out.  Oh, had Yunho mentions how much he hates him?


“Say Jaejoong, do you pick your nose in bed?  That must be why my cousin here dumped you.”

Scratch that, Yunho loathes him!

“He’s ugly,” Yunho comments when he sees Yoochun entering the bathroom after him.  The latter merely rolls his eyes.

Yunho is talking about Pierre Rosebury, Jaejoong’s new admirer who by the way has been charming everyone out of their rocker, except for Yunho.

‘I’ll be working in Pierre’s restaurant from now on.  Pierre absolutely adores my cooking,’ Jaejoong gushed a while ago.

‘I met him when he was saving a child from drowning.  He was so heroic,’ Jaejoong fawned, while the other fawned with him.

‘Pierre saved our skin after we almost missed our flight back home.  He’s our knight in shining armor.’

Pierre this, Pierre that, Yunho wonders why Jaejoong hadn’t simply launched on him while saying ‘I do’!

“Like come on!  Who’s got Rosebury as a family name anyway!  That’s a girl’s name over there!” Yunho nastily adds as he washes his hand in the sink.

They’re currently dining in a high-end restaurant, property of a certain Pierre Rosebury, the heir of Rosebury Culinary giant. 

“Junsu and Changmin likes him though,” Yoochun replies smoothly as he pees. 

“Oh-“ Yunho throws his hand in the air, “-what does that stupid Chang Min know except for eating.  Changmin only likes him to spite me off!” Unfortunately, the rest of the gang seem to plan to make Chang Min a permanent part of the troop, Jaejoong inviting him along in this ‘important’ dinner is the living proof of it.  Ughh, more bad news for Yunho.

“Why would Chang Min liking Jaejoong’s admirer spite you off?” Yoochun questions, but when he sees Yunho’s expression he decides he doesn’t want to hear his answer and quickly resumes his sentence, “Besides, it’s Jaejoong that he’s courting,  so it’s Jae’s opinion that matters,” Yoochun says before he zip his pants back up and wash his hands.
Yunho never thought he’d ever see dark clouds glooming over Jaejoong’s head over someone that isn’t him.  And as he watches Jaejoong being jealous over a French acquaintance chatting with Pierre, Yunho never thought he’d wish he’d be in Pierre’s spot.

He had always disliked Jaejoong’s constant jealousy, but somehow seeing Jaejoong being jealous over another man didn’t sit well with him.  He’d rather it was him than Pierre that squirrel.

This is another dinner with Pierre and both Yoochun and Junsu have that expression on them exactly like how they used to look like everytime someone came too close to him for Jaejoong’s liking.

“Who is she?” Jaejoong asks in a deadly tone.  Yunho finds the decency to smile at the current situation.

 You’re in for it, blondie.  Serve you right.

“She’s a cousin,” Pierre answers with a sincere smile while Yunho’s own smile crumbles.

Perfect little Pierre.

“Oh, no wonder she looks like you,” Jaejoong giggles, back to being friendly.   Yoochun and Junsu heaves in relief as they look at each other with a smile.  

Suddenly, looking at the two couple, Yunho feels like a third wheel.  He merely sighs as he looks yearningly at his ex’s direction.

Jaejoong is smiling at Pierre the way he used to smile at him, only at him, and Yunho isn’t happy.  It’s just a matter of time before he gave in to Pierre’s disarming smile.

That night as he lay on his bed in silence, he thought that perhaps, Jaejoong’s smile worth much much more than his freedom after all.

He’s free now, but he’s unhappy.  Weird because he thought that’s the thing he want the most.  But right now, all he wants is for Jaejoong to curl up against him on their bed like the good old times.  Freedom be damned.  He’s willing to live under Jaejoong’s protective shell forever if it means the beauty is his.

The saying is true then, a man never truly knows what he had until he lost it.


The direness of the situation hadn’t fully register Yunho until one night where he and Jaejoong talks about their break up for the first time.

Jaejoong have been too composed, too cool about it, apologizing for everything he had done to Yunho in the past.   And that’s the thing Yunho had been afraid of the most.  For Jaejoong to talk about it like that must’ve meant it no longer affect him.  Jaejoong has moved on.  And Yunho hasn’t.


They’re currently standing in Yoochun’s balcony, celebrating the success of the songwriter’s new songs.  



“You don’t have to be wary of me right now, Yunho.  Go and find your own happiness.  I won’t hold you back,” Jaejoong spontaneously says as he looks pensively out of the balcony, missing the pain flashing in Yunho’s eyes,  “-Maybe what you and I had was just a phase.  A pit stop before I found the person truly destined for me.  If I hadn’t been with you and broke up with you, I wouldn’t go to Venice.  And then I wouldn’t meet Pierre.  I don’t know, I might sound cheesy, but I think if anyone is destined for me, that person would be Pierre.  Most people couldn’t stand my possessive nature, but Pierre does.”

Heyy!  I stand your possessive nature too, for 3 years at that!  Yunho frowns.  It’s still too early to tell.  Just wait for 3 years and see if he’ll still be that patient.

As much as Yunho hates Pierre and would love to bury him alive, he knows Pierre does seems different from him.  While Yunho had only been patient when it comes to Jaejoong, Pierre is patient to everything.  He looks so cool and composed and he hates to admit, but that blonde locks and gray eyes of his makes him looks like a mannequin.  Plus he’s rich.  Jaejoong would live a comfortable life with him.

Damn, Yunho is in deep shits.

Jaejoong’s words keeps resounding in his ears, especially the ‘destined’ part.  It just scares him so much.  That iss the slap in the face for him.  Just the thought of Jaejoong marrying other people made him weak in the knees.


He cries himself to sleep that night.